Transformation through Tapas

Sutra 2.43 says, SELF-DISCIPLINE in practice leads to the destruction of impurities and to the perfection of the body and senses.

Hm. Lofty goals.

The 3rd NIYAMA (practices for self-care) is TAPAS. Tapas can be translated in many ways -- regularity of practice, heat, fire, discipline, continued effort, transformation -- but the message is pretty much universal. The MORE you come to your mat with regularity, the more you will create positive change, leading to the likelihood that you'll keep coming to the mat. FUN!

In tapas practices, we build heat or INNER FIRE which is said to burn off impurities. These impurities may be due to what we eat, how we act, how much screen time we take in and/or environmental factors. And when we experience the transformational potential of our practice, it creates a positive neural groove to encourage us to come back again and again.

Holding Yourself Accountable

In my opinion, one of the biggest challenges in our day-to-day lives is holding ourselves accountable. It's pretty easy to talk a big game about ways that we are going to improve ourselves, how we are going to be better, resolutions, etc. but in truth it's really really challenging to actually follow through. I don't think that anyone wants to over-eat, watch TV all night and not be physically fit, but it can be easier to let yourself off the hook than to actually do the work.

If you have made the decision to live yogically, you pretty much have no choice but to hold yourself accountable. A big part of the day-to-day work is the discipline that it takes to get yourself to your mat and cushion on the regs. The more often you can make it there and do the work, the more you will build tapas, one of the components of kriya yoga. Through practicing again and again, we build tapas which is an internal heat. Essentially you "stoke" the fire within which hopefully keeps you coming back to practice again and again. 

If you are not a regular practitioner of yoga, it is still important to hold yourself accountable for things that you say you are going to do. How many times a day or a week do we say we are going to do something and do exactly the opposite or a half-assed job? It's hard to put forth the effort that is required to achieve our goals and aspirations. There is no question about that in my mind. But the more often you plan to do something and don't actually take the steps to follow through on it, the more challenging it will be the next time for you to keep your promise to yourself.

You know darn well that you have to come back up.

And then, there is the issue of holding yourself accountable for things you promise to other people. Be it your spouse, your children, someone you just started dating, or your yoga students, it is absolutely integral to honoring your own inner light of awareness to actually do the things that you say. For instance, with your yoga students, are you expecting them to attend 3 to 4 classes a week but not practicing regularly yourself? Are you telling your children or your spouse that you're going to make more time for them and then filling in that timeslot with other less important life events? When we say one thing and do another, we set a precedent for others to follow our lead. By actually remaining true to our word, we are establishing a foundation in truth. This good example will hopefully lead to continued true behavior.

If you are reading this and you think that I am talking to you specifically, I am not. But it seems that way, right? It's because we all do this. We all make greater promises and than we can keep. So, how can we do better?

For one, I think we need to lessen our expectations of ourselves. Not that we need to dream smaller or aspire less, but we need to make more realistic goals that have actually achievable outcomes. We also need to not get down on ourselves for minor deviations from the path. Shit occasionally goes awry and it's our job to recognize when we've strayed and come back to the straight and narrow.

For another, we need to just follow through.  Most especially when it's challenging and we don't want to, that's the time that we need to put on the heat and make ourselves act. This way the next time will be much less difficult.

We also need to celebrate when we do accomplish what we set out to achieve. However small, if you plan an action and make it happen, it is worth your while to recognize your work.

See if you can begin on a small scale. Follow through on several small projects/ideas and take note of how it feels. And then build from there. Happy practice!

Momentum

Have you ever noticed that when you consistently come to your mat or your cushion on a daily basis that it gets easier and easier to continue to do so? My teacher Theresa Murphy suggests that you come to your mat everyday, even if it's just for ten minutes.
This past week, I found myself low on the inspiration and drive totem pole. This happens to me often after I have an especially inspired practice or class. I'm not sure what it is....some little part of me feels that I've made an accomplishment and now I can retire.

Perhaps I will retire to India?

So, this past week I felt a bit like I was dragging myself to the mat. And then essentially rolling around on the mat because I couldn't muster up the impetus to practice any sequencing. Each day I'd come up with a list of things that I had to do before practicing (checking my email, drinking tea, folding my laundry, rechecking my email) but each day, even though it felt like a drag, I ended up on my mat and then my meditation cushion.
I do believe that this sort of slow down happens to everyone. It's pretty impossible to be "on" all the time and can actually be quite useful as a time for reflection to not quite "turn off" but at least turn down. Roll around on your mat (actually I was doing a lot of sensory awareness training also known as somatics), keep it low key and appreciate the times when I do feel the urge to do a badass practice with meticulous sequencing.
Being on the backside of last week, I feel grateful for making my way matward, even if only for a few moments. by doing so, I retained my sense of forward momentum and trust fully that inspiration will head my way before too long.

Perseverance

This is an apt title for someone who hasn't written on their blog in a month.

Well, I am happy to report that despite my lack of perseverance in composition, I've been steadily humming along in my daily practice. And this week for the first time, I am experiencing a profoundly deeper serenity in my meditation practice than ever before.
This process of "enjoying" my meditation has taken two and a half years of diligent daily practice. In addition, I have read countless books and studied with multiple teachers to come to this minute achievement.
The point here is not to toot my own horn about progress but rather to illustrate the need for seriously dedicated perseverance to the yogic path. My teacher Theresa Murphy used to always say that achievement in yoga asana will not come quickly or easily. And 8 years later, I recognize that she's absolutely correct. Things get easier and more accessible, but there are still days when I have trouble balancing in Tree pose or I don't feel like coming to my mat to practice.
Progress in a meditation has been even more laborious in my experience. We are hardwired through our humanness and societal conditioning to attach ourselves to our ego and cling to our thoughts or emotional states. When we can begin to break down these barriers by practicing, we can actually begin to experience the peace of mind about which the ancient yogis were writing.
Through regular (and I mean daily) practice, we begin to develop tapas or the "fire" or "heat" that eggs our practice onward. The more you show up, the more you get out of it and in turn the more you want to continue to show up. See a whole post on tapas here: Tapas
Usually when we experience difficulty and pain in our lives, we tend toward a "woe is me" sort of attitude. This is naturally human of course, but certainly not productive. When we can change our perspective to reflect the need for daily practice, then we always have somewhere to turn when the going gets rough. When shit hits the fan, you make your way to your mat or your cushion as you would on any other day and spend some time presently, persevering on the path.

Niyamas: Tapas

Tapas the third niyama translates as discipline or austerity, but can be better understood as "heat" or  something, the thing, that drives your practice.
The more regularly you practice, the more momentum or heat you are able to create to feed the continuation of your practice.
You practice, you begin to see results.
You practice regularly, your life begins to change.

The benefits of yoga asana practice are many--physically, mentally, emotionally--they are too numerous to list. The benefits of a meditation practice are also many--mental clarity, more level emotional state--again too numerous to create a simple list.
Despite the ability of these disciplines to heal the body, mind and spirit, there is a catch.
Isn't there always a catch?

It is this: in order to achieve the much desired benefits of practice, one must cultivate a regularity of practice. Through this regularity, we can begin to see our own weak spots, the areas of our lives on which we need to focus. If we only practice yoga asana once a week and meditate once a month, we are not exposed to the particulars of our own needs. How can we begin to listen to the focus of our thoughts--which may bring to light our personal samskaras or life patterns--if we don't sit down and do so each day?
Well, simply put, we cannot.

In this lifetime, if you wish to shed light on the true nature of your Self, if you wish to discover the fullness of life available to you (it's in there), come to the mat regularly and come to the meditation cushion even more often.

Nothing that's worth achieving comes easily. But the more consistently you practice, the more tapas you create, the more clarity you will have to see your Self as you really are.